CONTROLLED BY CHOICES

As the blinding fluorescent white light shone onto her eyes, fear was the first sensation she had experienced. She had arisen from the box that contained her, confused at her empty surroundings. The robot was in a padded white room with one security camera looking over her. Nothing appealed to the senses, and all seemed bland.

“Sir, the experiment was a success.”

“We can’t be so sure yet,” another man behind the glass replied. “We’ve successfully brought it to life, but we aren’t certain if she will live up to our expectations.” Both men investigated through the window, waiting to observe more.

The pallid man across from her just sat in a chair, not knowing how to act. Grinning at the robotic lady, he displayed pearly whites. They contradicted his ragged curls. The robot would be lying if she claimed she wasn’t frightened at the sight of this individual. When she glanced at his dead blue eyes, she immediately put her hands over her face and looked away.

The man was already panicking, and his mind shut off. This man’s first instinct was to tremble and flap around his hands to alleviate the stress he was going through. He began to overthink this far too much. Was his figure too bulky?

Or maybe the red dye at the tips didn’t match his black hair well. He started to shake at the thought that his teeth were not presentable.

One of the men watching from outside the room saw this occurrence before his eyes, and he wasn’t happy about it. He banged on the glass before yelling through it. “Control yourself, Finch! You must deal with your life! There is no need to be squirming around over anything or anyone. Do something!”

The man, presumably Mr. Finch, readjusted his glasses and calmed down. He knew what he had to do now. He walked up to the already-frightened android and gently spoke to her. “It’s OK, nobody here is going to hurt you,” he said, looking her in the eyes.

The robotic lady became a bit more trusting, but she was still a bit doubtful. Why was this man being so nice to her? There was no need for him to do such a thing. He was flesh and bones. She was only pure scrap and metal. He could’ve treated her like trash. He could’ve seen her as a mere plaything, but no. James’ fingers didn’t even harm her.

“I’m here to help you,” he replied. “You’re capable of so much. You can trust that I won’t harm you.”

The robotic lady got out of hiding in her box and extended her hand at Mr. Finch.

He grasped her hand, making sure NANCY could step out with ease. Her feet were finally brushing against the cushioned ground.

After she was out, the lady tried exploring the empty white room. There wasn’t much she could see, but she still felt that it was worth looking for something.

After being unable to find the environment, she looked at Mr. Finch with a raised eyebrow. He put his hand on the robotic lady’s shoulders, and with his other hand, James ran his hands on one of her pigtails.

“You, my precious one, are. You may be a robot, but I know very well how much of a heart you have. You have come from one of the stars placed among the darkness of night. They picked that star to transfigure into you. You’ll accomplish phenomenal things and experience so much. Welcome to the world, NANCY.”

While hearing Mr. Finch’s words, NANCY could feel her system slowly warming up. There was a feeling she had, but NANCY couldn’t quite grasp what it was. She clasped her chest, feeling a confusing thump in it. Mr. Finch immediately took note of this.

“This is your heartbeat,” he said, signaling toward her chest. “This is what signifies your livelihood.”

She looked into Mr. Finch’s tired eyes and smiled. She didn’t say a word but wished to spill her thoughts.

NANCY realized that his heartbeat gave him life. Both were alive. The one that belonged to her seemed to get quicker by the moment. It was as if he was the one who made her feel even more alive. If a heartbeat determined that, he would be her life, and he would be her closure. She wouldn’t have it any other way. She felt safe now. Now, she felt complete.

After contemplating her feelings, NANCY decided to keep them in for a while. She spread her arms open and pulled Mr. Finch into an embrace. Her head was touching his shoulder, feeling how he tensed up. Her first expression was ready to bloom. She knew what to say as she opened her lips.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Finch.”

After some time, NANCY finally let go of the man. He was still taking deep breaths. Despite this, she had the biggest grin on her silicone face. NANCY looked up and read the name tag on the man. She wondered what his full name was.

It read:

“James Finch, Neuroshare Neurologist.”

She looked up at James and waited for him to say something.

He gave NANCY a warm smile, now knowing she was functioning. Giving a warm glimpse, he held out his hand.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

As they walked out the soft door, one of the observers stopped them.

“Hey, Finch!” The man pointed his finger at James’ double chin and said, “Don’t you believe it’s too early to release her?”

James held both hands up defensively. “We will be fine,” he declared. “I see no issue with letting NANCY out!”

The two individuals were now walking around Neuroshare’s building. They noticed other individuals in the building, some of their previous projects, and some diagrams illustrating NANCY’s anatomical assemblage. Upon seeing these pictures, James quickly shoved NANCY so she couldn’t even glance at them. James was quaking and broke into a sweat.

“I didn’t believe we’d come across that,” he mumbled. Shaking NANCY’s shoulders, he quickly gabbled, “You’re alright. You didn’t see anything wrong!”

NANCY remained calm, cracking up at James’ rush. “Sorry, I didn’t quite get that!” She took his hands off her shoulders. “I am perfectly alright,” she expressed, before continuing as if nothing had occurred.

NANCY thought it was adorable seeing James act this way, not knowing why he was so shocked. It made her synthetic heart skip a beat. He was quite a goofy man.

The dark building had only blue and yellow lights from the varied objects and blinding computer screens. NANCY enjoyed this moment. She was with James as they explored the location, and she got to hold his warm hand. NANCY wouldn’t have it any other way. She could stay like this forever.

They eventually stopped at one point in the building. In front of them was a woman with black hair reaching to her shoulders. She was in front of many monitors, seemingly working on numerous projects. There were books stacked on her desk, all neglected. As she finished brushing her finger on the page, she turned her eyes to the screen again. It seemed as if she never laid her eyes off her job. James awkwardly stood there, waiting for her to finish up with whatever she was doing.

After she finished, she took a deep breath and exhaled. As she opened another project, James’ flimsy voice interrupted her. “How’s your work going, Okimi?” He readjusted his glasses.

The woman quickly flinched before relaxing again. She knew James enough to realize it was just him. She rotated her chair, revealing her face.

Her almond-shaped eyes revealed a stern glare. It softened once she saw NANCY.

“Since you practically made her,” James said, “I believe you should be able to see the results of your work!” He let go of NANCY’s hand and let her advance towards Okimi.

NANCY wondered who this woman was. Why did she need NANCY? She looked at the other’s name tag.

It read:

“Tokimi Rasch, Neuroshare Computer Programmer.”

Tokimi gently grabbed NANCY’s head with one hand and started to examine her. “Oh, dear. It did turn out well,” she grinned. She had a soft expression, and laid her hand on NANCY’s chest as she whispered, “Du bedeutest mir viel, NANCY.”

NANCY felt treasured. She appreciated her very much and wanted to know more about Tokimi. She finally let go of NANCY, and NANCY held her cheek lovingly. With a gentle grin, NANCY looked back at Okimi and said, “I love you as well, Tokimi.”

Okimi’s face scrunched upon hearing NANCY declare that statement. She slowly realized the intent of the words. Her grin returned, her eyes slightly squinting.

“So… what’s new?” James asked Okimi. She looked at him and said, “I am doing quite splendidly. I have a few projects left to work on. You can watch me while I finish them.”

Both started to dive into a conversation. NANCY didn’t do anything but watch. She was glad that James had a friend he could speak with. However, the more she watched the conversation, the more she felt something bubbling inside.

She saw how happy both seemed, how they laughed together, and how amazed James was at whatever Okimi was doing. It made her queasy. It was the same as James treated her, if not even more. She felt rage circulating, yet her lovely smile and bright eyes stayed the same.

NANCY wanted to do something. That couldn’t be right. She needed to do something. She felt as if she were to grab each of the hard-covered textbooks neatly laid on Tokimi’s desk and bash it into her head. Maybe the electricity from those computers could do a small favor. She desired to observe her coffee tumble into the currents while she worked. The shock and commotion would be enough to satisfy her.

But NANCY wasn’t a wretched person to want such a thing. At least, she would enjoy thinking so. NANCY knew Okimi would probably be better than her, no matter what she did.

She was an intellectual woman who was alive, unlike NANCY, who was artificial. Any individual would prefer someone whose intelligence is raw rather than programmed.

It also seemed as if she cared deeply for James. They stared at the screen together and exchanged advice. The manner Tokimi communicated and expressed herself with James contrasted with how serious of a woman she seemed like. It hurt to see James appreciate someone other than her.

At that moment, she felt an emotion she believed she could never feel. NANCY knew what it was yet couldn’t grasp the terms. Gradually, she found the words to describe what she felt. The emotion was jealousy.

NANCY couldn’t control herself. She tried not to let it show, but it was so hard as the world around her became silent, yet so loud simultaneously. She could hear what they were saying, but she couldn’t process the information in her brain. They were speaking in tongues, and she could solely respond with envy.

As both James and Tokimi stopped and decided to get going, James placed his hand on top of NANCY, and suddenly, that sweetly warm feeling returned to her with a tinge of bitter-sweetness.

As she walked away with James, she couldn’t help but look at Tokimi Rasch’s desk. She saw her returning to working her fingers on the computer keyboard without her eyes leaving the screen. Her expression reverted to a professional gaze, and she kept doing what was required.